Here it is, folks. The first day of the last year in my 20's. That's right. It's my birthday! Last night, I lacquered my nails with a few layers of glitter nail polish. This morning, I woke up at 5am craving a quesadilla. Weird.
My birthday has indeed been quite the event so far. Bodhi's birthday was on Friday so we had a joint celebration at our favorite stomping ground over the weekend. I also spent the weekend with The Writer, which was quite nice. Although today is the actual day, I am sort of already birthday-ed out. Likely, I will get a beer with friends after work and with any luck, later find myself in a snuggle sandwich between my dog and The Writer.
I recently experienced a surprisingly pleasant moment with regard to work. Last week, a favorite client caught me off guard by begging me to volunteer on a committee (for the year) with a professional organization I am part of. I don't know what came over me and why I couldn't say "no." But I agreed to it. Yesterday was the first meeting; a 5 hour long meeting. I was absolutely dreading it. After a weekend of intense debauchery, all my mind or body felt capable of doing was sitting at my desk in my office, doing busy work and surfing the net. I even at one point whined to a coworker, "I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go. What excuse can I come up with to not go?" I was feeling the anxiety and nerves boil to the top of my head. Both of which actually made me physically ill.
But I sucked it up. I pulled up those big girl panties, headed into the fiery hell that is downtown and pulled my car into the valet. As the attendant handed over my valet ticket, I said goodbye to my freedom for the afternoon. I felt like I had just turned myself into jail. As I entered the space, I spotted one familiar colleague and took my seat before the lunch and program began. By the time lunch and "welcomes" were done, I felt at ease and glad to be out of the office and doing something new for the day. We even had a team building exercise involving public speaking and I did not blush. Not once. *Public speaking is single handedly the most terrifying experience in the world.
The meeting was informative and productive. I felt I had something to offer to my committee. It then occurred to me I should feel flattered my client begged for my presence. It occurred to me that I am respected as a professional in my field and among my peers. By the time we were set free, I felt a confidence and clarity about myself professionally that I have never felt before. It is a nice reminder that we allow ourselves to grow only when we take the risk to step outside our comfort zones, even for just an afternoon.
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