The Rat's Ass

Well hello there...

Here's a brief re-cap as to what I've been up to the last few weeks since writing.

• Hiking
• Cabin-Vacationing
• Therapy
• Cooking
• Volleyball
• Friends
• Family 
• Work Insanity
• Yoga
• Love 

Yep, The Beast and I have officially moved way beyond platonic-hiking-buddy status. Shortly before my last post, I invited The Beast to get beers with me and friend visiting from out of town. After the happy hour, we all went back to my apartment where I cooked up an ambitious dinner for my guests. After my friend left, The Beast lingered just a little longer and he kissed me. We have continued to be each others' regular hiking partner. We just also go on non-hike dates as well.

Almost two weeks ago, I went on my annual summer trip to the family cabin. It was a relaxing and lovely time full of people and dogs I love. Kayaking, fishing, cooking, endless nights of drinking beer and playing poker... It couldn't get any better... until it did. What made this trip particularly awesome is toward the end of my vacation, The Beast got a ride up to the cabin with my aunt's boyfriend. The next morning, we backpacked through a mountain range to get back to town. Yes, I hiked home from my family's cabin with a 30 lb pack on my back and My Boy harnessed to my waist. The trip had been in the works long before The Beast and I became "an item" and it was something I had wanted to do for years, so I was rewarded with a great sense of accomplishment and contentment when we celebrated with a beer on the home-front.

Busy is a grave understatement when it comes to my work. If anything, I have been dramatically overwhelmed. But I welcome the reprieve from boredom or any time for depression-provoking over-thinking. Seeing as I have struggled to make a regular yoga practice this year, I am slowly building myself into a 1-hour-per-day commitment. I am now between 20 minutes to 1 hour, but I find I am steadily increasing the time I set aside for it and it feels good to finally be nourishing something that means so much to me. I have also started playing volleyball again. It was my athletic interest of choice my entire childhood and into my early twenties. Getting back on the sand and in front of the net seems to have ignited a long lost spark.

Lastly, I have finally made the big step of seeking professional therapy. I have my third appointment later today. Obviously, my treatment is in the very early stages and I am not sure I have established a connection with my therapist just yet. I have however, begun to notice a little improvement. Mostly in my acceptance of the stage my life is in. My whole psyche, shit, even the posts in this blog seem to be an attempt to "fix" where I am in life. But what if there is nothing that needs fixing? What if I am exactly where I am supposed to be? I have a very hard time "not giving a shit" as I have always viewed that mindset as lazy irresponsible. Yet, in the last month I have stopped "giving so much of a shit" and I have noticed my level of happiness has increased. With this added boost of optimism, I also find I am more productive. A productivity that leads to attaining the goals that recently seemed in vain.

Funny how that works.