I last opened up to you about The Fisherman. After he arrived on Friday, we took our dogs on a long walk in my neighborhood. Nearing the end of said walk, he said "What I love most about us is that we always just pick up where we left off. We never have any 'I haven't seen you in a year and this is weird' moments. It's always just so... easy?" Sort of hilarious as I said nearly the same thing in my post earlier that day.
That night, he took me out for the customary sushi dinner. I LOVE that he buys me sushi every time we see each other. Our dinner conversation was fairly typical for us; mostly about our careers and dogs. Like me, he absolutely adores his job. He, on the other had, abhors where he lives. He confided in me that he really has no social life outside his coworkers. Outside of work, he is fairly miserable in the cow-patty town he lives in. He basically said "Please, find me a job here that I will love just as much as the one I have now. Then, I can move here and we can get married."
Aww... But I'm not exactly checking out the want-ads. As great as The Fisherman may be, I would have to be out of my damned mind to even entertain the thought of him relocating his life to start one with me. No more than thirty minutes after his departure on Sunday, I started hearing many complimentary "You guys are so right for each other" comments and answered many questions about The Fisherman. My response? I don't really care for a boyfriend at all right now, let alone, a long-distance boyfriend. I don't have the desire and energy to put in effort to truly devote myself or my life to a man that lives one block away. I'm sure as hell not putting in the effort to drive out of state once or twice a month.
Sure, I love the idea of love and romance as much as the next person. Probably even more than most. But I am just not looking for it right now. My life is too big and too great. I simply want to just be me. Not anyone's girlfriend. Just me. And while I may not be anti-romance, if it does happen, it needs to be organically. In the case of The Fisherman, that would mean him getting a job and relocating to my state on his own accord. Then and only then, perhaps building a more regular friendship with me that may (a very strong may) have the potential to become more.
This time, there were no tears when he and his dog drove off into the sunset. In fact, it was a relief. Sure, I had a wonderful time with him. We spent the weekend eating decadent sushi, drinking micro-brews at my favorite spot, hiking, BBQing with friends. It was great and it was fun to "play house" for a little while. But when my dog and I had the place to ourselves again, it was complete bliss.
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